You know that feeling when you’ve said yes to something and immediately wished you hadn’t?

Maybe you agreed to take on one more project at work, or volunteered when your plate was already full. Maybe you said yes because saying no felt selfish or uncomfortable.

As women, we’ve all been there, whether it be at home, at work, or in our community. 

But as RBC Regional President Michelle Waite puts it, learning to be more strategic in how and when we say yes is one of the best life lessons we can learn. And after 25 years with the bank, working in 11 different roles, including increasingly senior leadership positions, she has had plenty of opportunities to learn what always saying yes can cost.

“Being a woman in business and in senior leadership, it’s hard,” she said. “Honestly, there are things I think that we have to say to ourselves every single day to get through most days.”

Read about: Why Michelle Waite says letting go of perfectionism made her a better leader

One of those sayings she picked up about two years ago, right before she took on her current role as Regional President for Greater Toronto. It’s a simple framework she calls “no GRR”: no guilt, no regrets, no resentment.

Before saying yes to anything, Waite says she considers what that yes might leave behind. Will it create guilt? Will she regret taking it on? Will she eventually resent the person who asked?

It’s a way of thinking, she says, that has completely changed her life. 

“Using that system is probably the best piece of advice I can provide to women,” she added. “We need to apply it to every decision that we make. We’d say no more, we would delegate more, and we’d ask for help more, instead of taking so much on ourselves.” 

A new framework for leadership 

Of course, the goal here isn’t to avoid every uncomfortable decision or suddenly become someone who says no to everything – Waite is clear on that. Instead, it gives her a moment to question whether a yes is actually the right answer.

And sometimes, saying no does more than protect her own time.

This approach has allowed others to “step up in a really meaningful way” while freeing her to focus on other areas, she said.

It’s also changed how she thinks about leadership. Rather than trying to be the person who can handle everything, she has become more comfortable being resourceful and leaning on those around her.

It’s also helped her let go of the idea that, as a leader, you need to be everywhere and there for everyone. Instead, setting healthy boundaries around when you’re accessible and how you show up are all a part of the no-GRR mentality. 

“It’s so easy for so many things to get booked and added to our day that if we don’t protect our time, we really don’t protect our mental health,” she added. 

So the next time someone asks you to take on a task, or add work to your plate, take a moment and remember no-GRR. Sometimes the most useful question we can ask ourselves isn’t whether we can take on one more thing; it’s whether we’ll be glad we did.

Lisa Thibodeau

Lisa is Director of Editorial & Content Strategy at The Honest Talk, where she leads storytelling across digital, editorial, and audience platforms. A journalist and content strategist, she is passionate about uncovering compelling stories, connecting with people, and creating content that sparks meaningful conversations.