The last five years have had all the hallmarks of a Hollywood blockbuster: geopolitical unrest, a global pandemic, economic, cultural, and social injustice are just a few of the headliners that have captured our nation and the world. These unprecedented circumstances felt like a relentless Groundhog Day – and for me, as for many women, menopause quietly slipped in while we were distracted.
I am a high achiever, multi-tasker, plate-spinner extraordinaire. Like many women, I have convinced myself that I can do it all, with little compromise. The breakneck pace of feeding the machine is relentless, but menopause changed my speed.
I had to shift gears, and in doing so, the plates started to wobble. Soon, I found myself down among the pieces. It’s hard to react in foreign territory, and I realized it was time to pull out the white flag – and wave it with purpose.
Seeing the change
The mental and physical health challenges of menopause are real, and we are at risk.
According to the Menopause Foundation of Canada, over 75 per cent of women report some degree of vasomotor symptoms during menopause – and many suffer in silence. We don’t talk about it enough to adequately support women, whether at home or in the workforce. In fact, one in ten women leave the workforce due to unmanaged menopause symptoms.
For the first time in my 28-year career, I found myself in a period (mind the pun) of flux. I put on what I like to call the “menopause mass,” akin to the “freshman fifteen,” and my Hashimoto Disease (thyroid autoimmune) – which I had kept under control since being diagnosed at 16 – was no longer under control.
It took me over a year to find the courage to seek professional medical help for my symptoms: the profuse night sweats, brain fog, and insomnia. What used to be flat and firm was now bumpy and bulgy. The body I once celebrated was now in the shadows, and mirrors felt like a distant past. And while I am keenly aware of the responsibilities around body shaming – I am the mother of a 17-year-old daughter – it didn’t make the adjustment any easier.
Add in the burden of not having a family doctor, and quickly I found navigating the system to find the right formula to manage my symptoms as my new call to action. I am HER! SHE is me! I would get the answers I deserved. I would be remiss not to mention that during this journey I thought of my brave mom in the back of my mind. My mom, who went doctor-to-doctor advocating for herself for two years, only to be diagnosed with a rare and terminal pituitary cancer. She was just two years older than I am now when I lost her, so her memory was looming large.
Taking control and moving forward
Armed with a copy of The Menopause Manifesto by Canadian OB/GYN Dr. Jen Gunter, I weighed the pros and cons and decided to try Hormone Therapy (HT).
Lo and behold, I found my love for running again. Even so, it’s not perfect. On some cold November nights, I am a hot, sweaty mess with the memory of a sieve, looking like an alpaca in heat – and that’s with the AC on!
This new chapter in my life also pushed me to step outside my comfort zone in other ways. My motivation to join the Royal Canadian Navy as a part-time Reservist was to challenge myself, physically and mentally. It’s never too late to learn something new and create new neural pathways! It’s also pretty awesome being a naval cadet at 50+, but try smearing your Estrogel on your inner thighs at 5:00 a.m. when you have a timing to make!
Through all of this, however, I’ve learned that taking care of myself isn’t optional – it’s the foundation for everything else.
At a time like this, being kind to ourselves isn’t enough; we also need to be good to ourselves. And kindness and goodness are not always synonymous. No matter what other distractions are capturing our attention, we need to nourish our bodies with good food. Go outside, even if only for a few minutes. Sleep well. We need to put a PAUSE on the stigma around menopausal issues and create safe spaces for dialogue and support.
It reminds me that you can’t invest in others until you invest in yourself. I have no choice but to be in my own corner.
The first step in resolving your circumstances is to recognize them – and own them. I will not let my life be punctuated and defined by a period and a pause! In this next season of life, as we continue to break through the glass ceiling, let’s say goodbye to the (hot)flash, and hello to our power!
Lauren Small
