Recently, the matriarch of our family turned 90. My grandmother shares some of the stereotypes of that generation – hard-working, resilient, cautious with money and values stability.
Also, she’s stubborn. So, so stubborn.
Some of these values she passed down to her daughters, who then rebelled and therefore, I blame my early forays into credit card debt on them.
But the stubbornness remained, and it’s a defining characteristic of myself and all the women in my family.
Despite my grandmother’s more traditional values of stability and resilience, she was also progressive in her way. She and my grandfather moved a lot, at first working for themselves as store owners in rural Manitoba and then for the NorthWest Company, where they managed Northern stores on and off-reserve in Northern Manitoba, Ontario and what is now Nunavut.
She worked every bit as hard as my grandfather did, and raised five kids to boot. This was not a single-income ’50s family daydream. This was a salt-of-the-earth, community-minded, and family-oriented group of feral children and working adults. There was joy, but there was also tragedy.
When they retired and settled in Winnipeg, I was in my teens and early 20s. It was wonderful to be able to see them more than once a year, or not have to travel to spend time with them, and be spoiled in the way that only grandparents can.
It was then that I really absorbed her stubbornness.
Over the years, I’ve watched her fix up the house, keep a spectacular garden, and become a caregiver to my ailing grandfather until he passed away. She deals with family drama with aplomb and stoicism. When I need rescuing, she always says yes. Hungry? Here’s food. Anxious? Come over and play cards. Need something? She has it. She probably has 12 of them. There’s no need to go into further credit card debt, Elisha.
The morning before her surprise 90th birthday party this past weekend, she went outside to shovel her walk. Should she be outside shovelling snow? Heck no. But she swears it keeps her young, and hey, she reached 90, so who are we to argue?
And if she can do all that, so can I, dammit.
My grandmother lived through horrible times and came out the other side with a quiet strength and a certainty of who she is. I think so many of the women we admire and love are like that. It’s not showy, but it’s resolute.
It’s stubborn, and I truly believe the women of this country are the backbone of Canadian society and values.
As we begin an anxious 2026, I urge you to look to the matriarchs in your life to help centre yourself, keep hold of who you are and what you want to be. And embrace being stubborn.
This essay was originally published in The Future of Good’s Impact Insider.
Elisha Dacey
