I stared at the positive pregnancy test on the counter in disbelief. Joy hit me at once. But so did something else. A realization that my life as I knew it would be changed forever.
I had just said yes to joining Canada’s mission team for the 2026 Olympic Games, a role I was so excited to take on. I counted the months on my fingers to my due date, and I knew I would have to say no to the Olympics. And not just to that, also to other opportunities that were coming my way. I had recently retired from competitive curling and had been working hard to build a business as a curling coach, and it felt like I was now slamming the brakes just as I was picking up speed.
I found myself caught between conflicting emotions. I felt sad for the business opportunities lost, but then I felt guilty for even feeling sad. After all, I had just found out I was going to have a baby, and I had wanted to be a mom for a long time.
For so much of my life, I have been programmed to say yes. As an athlete and now as an entrepreneur, the default has always been to push harder and prove that I can handle it all. For years, saying yes felt like the ticket to growth. But saying yes too often had left me drained, resentful, and at times, questioning why I was taking so much on.
When I was nearing the end of my competitive curling career, I spent about 18 months with the philosophy that I would say yes to anything that sparked my interest. I was still competing, but I was also trying to figure out what would come next. That meant taking on multiple part-time jobs, contracts, and volunteer projects all at once. From the outside, it probably looked like I was building momentum. But on the inside, I was stretched too thin and felt like I wasn’t able to give my all to anything.
The turning point came when I realized that I wasn’t able to fully deliver on my commitments. I decided that finding alignment and leading with excellence mattered more than saying yes to every opportunity that interested me.
During that time, a high-performing friend gave me a decision-making tool that changed how I evaluate opportunities. Before saying yes, she said to ask yourself three questions: Is it fun? Does it pay well? Could it lead to other opportunities? If it meets two out of three, I’ll consider it. If it’s all three, it’s an easy yes. If it’s one or none, it’s a no.
It sounds simple, but for women, it rarely is. We are socialized to say yes. We’re expected to be agreeable, to help, and to give of ourselves until there is little left. Sometimes we say yes because we don’t want to disappoint others. Other times, we say yes because we are afraid the opportunity will not come again.
And when we do, we often end up depleted, resentful, or questioning why we agreed in the first place. I know the feeling all too well. The times I have ignored my own criteria and said yes anyway are the times I have ended up regretting it. Saying yes to work that underpaid or undervalued me, or to projects that didn’t light me up, or to commitments that took me away from things I’d rather do.
Pregnancy has forced me to confront this in a way I never have before. From November onward, I have cleared my calendar almost entirely. I don’t know what the future holds. For someone used to setting a goal, making a plan, and working until I achieve it, that uncertainty is so uncomfortable. But I also know this is a season of my life where saying no is essential.
Saying no has become a way to protect my energy. It means saying yes to more rest (despite the pregnancy insomnia). It means saying yes to protecting the baby I already feel so connected to. It means saying yes to slowing down, to pacing myself, and to being present in a pregnancy I spent years wishing for.
I still want to be productive. I still want to grow my business and feel a sense of achievement. But I also want to be the best mom I can be, and that requires choices. For the first time in my life, I am choosing to take it slow for a while. Not because I lack ambition, but because my ambition is being redirected.
I think of it like training. In sport, success is not only about what you do, but also what you choose not to do. Athletes have to prioritize rest, and they know recovery is fuel for performance. This chapter of life is no different.
Saying no is not a sign of weakness. Every no is actually a yes to something else. A yes to alignment. A yes to being fully present in the moments that matter most. And I have a deep knowing that when I’m ready, my career will still be there, and I’ll be armed with a whole new set of life experiences to draw from.
I still feel guilt creep in. That voice that tells me I should be pushing more, that I should be able to do it all, that pausing feels an awful lot like quitting. But I am learning to quiet that voice by remembering the truth I know deep down: saying no takes courage.
I picture myself in February, cheering on Team Canada from home, holding my baby. And I’ll remind myself that saying no is sometimes the most powerful yes of all.
